As her associates confirmed yesterday, Italian business woman Brella Um, the inventor of the umbrella, died shortly after a heavy shower during her daily walk in her hometown Milan. Countess Brella von Um y Ortega y Jones, to give her full name, was born into an impoverished Neapolitan noble family during the Pizza-Riots (risurgimento di pasta) in 1910. Before WW II she worked together with Martin Heidegger on the parka, and for a short while was the rival love interest of Hannah Arendt. During Mussolini’s regime in Italy Brella Um held the position of shadow minister (Ministerio della Umbrage). Afterwards she spent 16 years in a Bolognese lasagna. Brella Um is survived by her second husband Hans Guckindieluft and thirteen grandchildren.